unconditionally

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Trapped. Trapped. Trapped.

It was not enough being trapped in memories, then come again you, you, and you. Can I replace those you with them? Sorry, there are 4 you now.  You, you, you and you. And all of them are unconditional. They came in one time, unconditionally. I mean, I really amazed with this condition.

The first you came, he’s still here and it is not special, giving attention, and he’s the one who’s caring me even just remind me to eat. No, I mean I don’t want having ‘something’ with him. He just need a girl to talk to, and maybe I am the 2nd, 3rd or 4th but I am sure I am not his 1st.

2nd . how long it has been? 3 months? I don’t know, but I know it has been long time ago since you never contact me just to  say hello. Haha. I am doing fine here. And I stalked you sometimes, make sure that you already have a target for your next girlf. Is she a mechanical girl? Since you could not have this electrical girl? Kidding ^^.  It is good making good friendship with you. At least, we did it good.

3rd . who are you? Thanks for being this very kind of guy I have ever met this last 2 weeks. But I know I did not deserve it. So please just make it as usual as it might be. You don’t have to be like that. Being kind is good, but knowing the situation is best. You know you were wrong, don’t you? Yeah just please don’t make it difficult for us, because we know we would not be.

4th. I had given you a name, ‘my very cool fans’. Since you adored me much in senior high school, I always remember what you have done to me. Always behind me wherever I go, brought all my stuffs, waited for me, gave flower and chocolate. I am so sorry for being so anti-you 3 years ago. I just don’t want  playing game which I don’t interest in. I do happy be your friend, and I am very fine when you decided to unfriend me in facebook, block, or else. But your chat which told me that you love me so, and asked me to be yours, are still in my facebook messages.


And I am really trapped here. I am not trapped in the center of them. Having chats with them in one time, make me sure that I am really trapped in memories with you who is not in them. Not also trapped in the memories, but also in the person. Cause I could not feel something booms when I am in their sides. Maybe he is the zero. Not the 1st 2nd 3rd or 4th. 

praying is the best way to express your love-unknown

-ta

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